Fanning The Sexual Fire

Join me as I chat about what it takes to keep the passion alive in marriage and the heart of true intimacy. Through real talk I'll dive into practical ways you can keep the fire burning in your bedroom from a God-centered perspective.  I'll also break down barriers that can prevent you from having a sex life that is full of passion and I'll explain why great sex should start with an open heart, trust and a willingness to grow closer with your spouse.

Biblical Scripture: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.  Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened and if the pomegranates are in bloom - there I will give you my love." (Song of Solomon 8:6).

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:58

Ladies, your natural instinct is to worry You worry about your children, your health, your relationship, and everything else under the sun. It's a classic case of worry Wart syndrome if you tend to worry needlessly you not alone. Welcome to the She Strives with Faith Podcast with Bethea Jackson. Bethea is a two time divorcee single mother and war veteran who suffered from anxiety, but learned to let go and let God Bethea will share, captivating and down to earth conversations on how to strive by faith. Here's your host, Bethea Jackson.

Speaker 2: 1:57

Hello, beautiful. Ladies, welcome back to the She Strives with Faith podcast. I'm your host, lady b Celeste. Ladies. Ladies, ladies, have I got a hot topic for you today? Let's talk about something that's on a lot of people's minds, keeping great sex alive in marriage. My sister friends always ask me, girl, how did you keep the fire going when you were married? Hey, listen, let's face it, we all know that over time, routine sets in life gets busy. We become mothers, we're working, going to school. And listen, sometimes that spark can feel more like a flicker, if you know what I mean. You know, I always tell my sister friends that great sex begins with great hearts. It starts with the heart of God who wants his love and life to flow into every part of our marriage, including our physical connection. And then it's about our own hearts, both partners willing to let God shape them from the inside out. When we do that, the passion we share feels deeper, more fulfilling, and it sets the stage for an intimacy that's more than just physical. Now, listen, when I was married, sex was my favorite activity, baby. But looking back, I realized I didn't fully understand intimacy. You see, I grew up in a family that didn't discuss it. So most of what I learned came from Harlequin romance novels. My mom bought me those novels and I devoured them getting lost in those stories of heroes, sweeping women off their feet. Oh my goodness, I'd even walk miles to the library just to get more of them. Those novels, baby, were my main education on love and intimacy, and some were pretty steamy. But as much as I love those stories, they didn't teach me the full picture. They didn't show me the deep God-given design for intimacy that I now understand. I thought that if you love someone, you simply had sex with them, and that was all there was to it. I had no idea how to build real God center intimacy. And you know, the Bible doesn't hold back. When it comes to intimacy, it actually celebrates it. Take the Song of Solomon, for example. It's full of beautiful language that captures real passion and connection. Song of Solomon, chapter one, verse two says, Ooh , let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. For your love is more delightful than wine girlfriend. That's not just a metaphor. It's a reminder that God made intimacy to be fully enjoyed and deeply shared, but deeply shared by married people. Some of y'all might not agree with me on that, but I'm just keeping it real and I'm keeping it biblical Anyway. So how do we keep that connection alive? Well, let me give you some practical ways. Number one, show appreciation openly in the Song of Solomon. The couple is constantly expressing their admiration for each other. When's the last time you genuinely told your spouse that you love about , um, when you genuinely told your spouse what you love about them? Because when you say it out loud, it keeps the spark alive and it fuels the attraction on both sides. Number two, you gotta see sex as a gift to each other. You see, the Bible speaks about intimacy as something that's about giving, not just taking. One . Corinthians chapter seven, verse three says, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. It's about loving each other selflessly, which naturally creates a cycle of love and trust and desire, and it keeps that flame burning girl. Number three, build anticipation. In Song of Solomon, there's this sense of waiting and excitement. Little gestures like planning time alone, sending a sweet message or doing something unexpected. All of that can keep that anticipation alive. And girl, it doesn't have to be nothing elaborate, just something intentional that builds excitement. That's all. Number four, nurture emotional intimacy. Physical closeness naturally flows from emotional closeness. And so when you take time to talk, listen and truly connect, it strengthens the foundation for intimacy that's deeply satisfying for you and your man, your husband. Okay, number five, pray together about your intimacy. Now, this one might feel a little strange at first, but inviting God into this space is powerful. You see, when we pray together, it strengthens our unity and helps us align our desires with God's purpose for our relationship. So keeping great sex alive isn't about learning new techniques or following a script, although it is kind of fun learning new positions and things like that . Oh , okay. Did I say that? I sure did. Anyway, let me keep it moving. So, like I said, it's not about following a script, it's not about being robotic, it's about creating a connection that's authentic, trusting and aligned with God's design. You know, the Bible says that the bedroom is undefiled, right? So you can have all the fun you want , do all the crazy acrobatic things that you want to do if you're that flexible, okay, let me be good. I'm misbehaving. Let me get back to what I was saying. Anyway, so what I was saying is that in order to keep that spark alive, and if you want to enjoy every bit of what God intended for intimacy in the marriage, you have to let the passion flow naturally. Okay? I'm not talking about pornography 'cause we don't want that in our marriage. Mm-hmm. That's not good. But let you know, just let it be. Just let it flow and be natural, okay? You don't have to compete with anybody you know, it's just you and your husband just having a great old time, just loving on each other. Just like it says in the Song of Solomon. There is no shame in what you do in your bedroom. So listen ladies, I hope this was helpful because sex is a great thing that God intended for men and women to enjoy. And I know that some women are afraid to explore sexual intimacy on a deeper level. They're afraid to explore different , um, things that they can do in the bedroom to enhance their sexual intimacy with their husbands. But you cannot be approved. You just can't, you know, be adventurous. You know, do something that you hadn't done before. Have fun with it, girl. And make sure y'all putting on lingerie. Listen, don't be wearing no head wrapped to bed. Don't be wearing them flannel pajamas. No, no, no. Burn that stuff. Put it in the furnace. Cut it up and throw it in the trash. You gotta keep the flame alive by giving him something that is going to cause him to desire you. You know, and I'm telling you, wearing flannel pajamas or flannel nightgown, I don't know if that's gonna work, ladies. So go to Victoria's Secret or some other place that sells beautiful lingerie and invest, invest in you some lingerie. Invest in you a nice , um, negligee. You know what I'm saying? Ain't nothing wrong with that. And for some of you religious girls who have been told that sex is dirty or evil, or some of you have been told that as a wife, you are just supposed to submit, give him sex whenever he wants. Lay there like a log. Just do it. Get it over with because that's your wifely duty. I feel for you ladies. Like, I feel bad for you because that is misinformation. That's not how God intended it to be. So my prayer is that you would get rid of that advice wherever you got it from, whoever you receive that from. Get rid of that. Don't believe it. Don't accept it. Sexual intimacy should be fun and enjoyable. But if there is something that your husband is asking you to do as it relates to , um, having sex, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then that requires openness and transparency. And you're going to have to have that conversation with your husband no matter how difficult it might be. You gotta tell him, I'm not comfortable with that. I don't want to do that. And just be honest and prayerfully, if he loves you, then he'll understand. But you shouldn't be made to do anything or participate in something that makes you feel uncomfortable, period. Point blank . And so you have to be assertive in that way, in a loving way. So hopefully your husband, again will be understanding. But anyway, girl, that's it. I ain't got nothing else to say about that other than have fun, enjoy sex. God made it fun. He made it enjoyable. And you know, go with the flow. Go with the flow. Don't be don't be shy, don't be, you know, afraid to try new things. Alright ? So that's what I have for you ladies today. I hope this was helpful. And , um, please do share this podcast with other sister friends. Okay? So until we meet again, keep faith alive girl, and keep that flame flowing in that marriage. All right? Don't let the flame go out. Keep the sex on fire. Alright , I'll catch y'all later. Bye for now.

Speaker 1: 14:49

Thank you for listening to the She Strives with Faith Podcast. To hear more about how you can tap into the power of striving with Faith, join her next week. If you found value in the episode, give her a rating or tell a friend about the show. Follow Bethea on Facebook and Instagram for a more personal chat. Until next time, strive to keep faith alive.